The reason I love Bellini...

Me with my favorite Bellini men! Hehe. Tom Brown's grooves and Raziz's saxy tunes always completes my night..


My best Bellini lady!! Jeassea Thyidor's croons makes my weekend perfect..

Ok, another week of school and work ahead... And I'm all rejuvenated and rested and ready for it! My only complain is that I won't be able to join the gang at Bellini this coming weekend 'coz I'll be in Taiwan!!! *Sob*

But I'll be back just in time for Tom's farewell party... Yep, Tom will be going back to the UK for good in 2 weeks time :( I'm so gonna miss him... Bellini will never be the same without Tom Brown.

Go have fun, kids... but not too much fun. Don't forget to think of me fondly.

Think about it...

Just some random thoughts...

1. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.
2. What is the value of money, if we don't use it?
3. What do we live for... if there is nothing that we are willing to die for?
4. Is it arrogant to think that we are capable of being humble?
5. If we keep drawing the line and boundaries with people around us, we are ultimately, inevitable just drawing a circle around ourselves.

Will think about it further and add more thoughts soon.

What do you think?

Mr. Lion

I met him at Adil's bar last Saturday.... but last night we went back there again for a totally different reason. Lol. Mr. Lion brought me to see kittens!

Ok, I was supposed to be up all night studying for my exams... but when he said he saw cute little kittens near Adil's bar on his way home, I couldn't resist!! So he came and picked me up around midnight... and we went down to buy cat food for the kittens. OMG! They're so terribly cute!!!

After that we went for supper at geylang... but ended up walking around looking at illegal gambling dens and prostitues. It was so exciting! I mean, I usually drive around looking at such stuff, but I've never actually got down and walked. When he suggested that I thought he was kidding... but it's really alot more exciting when you're walking around!

Oh, he also let me drive his manual car. Haha. It's been more than a year since I even touched a stick shift. I rekindled my love for manual cars! I remember I wanted to buy one but didn't out of convenience. Haha. And I kinda stalled and messed around his car abit before I got the hang of it.. *so sorry, leonel!*

Eventually, we took out Macs and came back to my place to eat (coz he remembered I had to study for my morning paper. I conveniently forgot).... he dozed off around 3am, me around 5am. He woke up at 7 and realized he was late for work. Haha! Ooops! Both of us are such bad influence on each other?

He left immediately, but he let me sleep in and called me on my mobile to wake me up at 8am to study for my exam.

Well..... Overall, barely studied... coz I had to rush for my exam which was at 11.45am.

But who cares? Hahaha.

Emo Mood

Exams tomorrow and the day after. Guess that explains the rare blog posts lately.

Doesn't help with the studying when I'm getting EMO. It's really amazing how songs can change one's mood doesn't it?




My latest guilty pleasure. Super Emo song!!

Haha. Surprisingly, getting emo in the middle of the night alone in my room is rather.... erm, pleasurable and intoxicating.

Getting lost in the surreal dimension of emotions is somehow more enjoyable than facing the cold hard world... and the emotionless responses we've been conditioned to display.

It's refreshing to just let yourself go and frolick around in sentiments once in awhile :)

I fell in love with a Bumblebee

I fell in love with a bumblebee,
Though I don't know if he loves me.
But we know, both him and I -
That if he stung me, he would die.

I don't want someone I can live with... I want someone I cannot live without.

That was what Audrey and I were talking about in the car after we left Clastalia's wedding and were on our way to pick Violet.

When we settle down, are we just settling for second best, settling for the fact that there is no one out there who is better, settling for whatever we can get?

I'd like to think I know what I want in life and that everything will eventually fall into place - but some thoughts just scare me. Perhaps it was the way Audrey said it - with resignation. I don't necessarily agree with what she says.... but the fact that some people actually think this way, and that there MIGHT be some truth to it... is scary.

Scary thought #1: The one we love the most is often not the one we marry... The one we marry, is most often the one that we do not love (as much). Why do people marry, if not for love??? I simply cannot imagine myself in a love-less marriage. Audrey says don't marry the one you cannot live without, because if he leaves you, you will die. Just settle for someone you can live with - life will be much easier. The thought of my marriage being dispensable scares me.

She says after the one you really love breaks you heart, you will realize that maybe love isn't everything... Hence,

Scary thought #2: If the one you love does not treat you well, you'll be miserable. However, even if the one you do not love (as much) treats you well, you'll be miserable too. Therefore, it's better to be miserable with someone who treats you well. Somehow, this scares me. Are we supposed to choose between "love" and "treatment"??? Why does it seem highly impossible that I will meet a man I love, who will treat me well? She says it's reality, I think it's just hopelessness. This hopelessness I see in my friend scares me.

She explains,

Scary thought #3: If you fall in love deeply, you will get hurt. We should have reservations, even with the one we love. Otherwise, when they leave, we'll be broken and shattered. I agree to a certain extent. While it is ok to give all my heart, it is not ok to give all my life. She said she had given up her family, friends, education for the one she loved and when he left, she was ruined. Such devastation and damage the one we love and trust can cause scares me.

Scary thought #4: It's ok to be with someone less than perfect, and keep waiting for Mr.Right. This is freaky. I will not be with anyone unless I think he IS Mr. Right. Why settle for second best? But what if we never meet anyone better... and what we initailly THOUGHT was second best, was infact the best already? When do we stop waiting? When I fall in love, I expect it to be forever. She says I should stop living in my fantasy world... Never say 'forever' because a better guy might come along. Well, for me.. if I fall in love, I would at least believe it's with the best and to me, there will never be anyone better. The idea of love being so fickle scares me.

Isn't love supposed to be the most pure, simple and natural thing? Why has it become so corrupted, complicated, and confusing?


I don't ask for things to be simple... I just want someone who can make me fall in love and forget about all the complications that don't matter. I want to fall in love with a bumblebee who would never hurt me... for fear that if he did, he would die.

Ok, maybe I'm just a coward after all.