I know I'm stupid...

But what's so good about being smart anyway?

Sorry for being emo lately... and thanks for being there for me. What would I do without you guys? :) I love my friends.

愛我的人和我愛的人 (The one who loves me and the one whom I love)

盼不到我愛的人　我知道我願意再等
Even if I can't have the one I love, I know that I'm willing to wait

疼不了愛我的人　片刻柔情它騙不了人
I won't even fall for the one who loves me, for a moment of tenderness won't even change my mind

我不是無情的人　卻將你傷的最深
I'm not a heartless person, yet I have hurt you the deepest

我不忍　我不能 別再認真　忘了我的人
I can't bear to do it, so please just forget about me

離不開我愛的人　我知道愛需要緣分
I can't leave the one I love, I know that fate counts in love

放不下愛我的人　因為了解他多麼認真
Yet I can't let go of the one who loves me either, for I know how much he cares

為什麼最真的心　碰不到最好的人
Why does the purest heart never get to meet the best person?

我不問　我不能 擁在懷中　直到他變冷
I shall not ask, I just want to hold him in my arms till he turns away

愛我的人為我癡心不悔
The one who loves me does so without regrets

我卻為我愛的人甘心一生傷悲
Yet I'm willing to suffer a lifetime for the one I love

在乎的人始終不對
The people who care always seem to be in the wrong　

誰對誰不必虛偽
But the one who is right will always remain true

愛我的人為我付出一切
The one who loves me gives up everything for me

我卻為我愛的人流淚狂亂心碎
Yet I'm crying over my broken heart for the one I love

愛與被愛同樣受罪
To love and to be loved both seem like a sin

為什麼不懂拒絕癡情的包圍
Why can't I get out of this hopeless devotion that surrounds me?

"He who loves me, holds me in his arms while I cry over another man..."

Never really liked Arts Central

But shawn told me of this french film that was airing and I decided to give it a chance...

Turned out to be the best film I've watched in a really long time - the last film that moved me to tears, I guess was P.S. I love you.

'Les Chorites' - I don't want to spoil the movie by giving a synopsis of it from my point of view... but I'll say it's a cross between Dead Poet's Society and Sister Act.

And, I'll share one more thing... the beauty of the film. Which lies mainly in its music.


This footage isn't actually from the film, but the lead solo singer is the same lead solo singer/actor in the film. I think his singing is absolutely amazing!!!



This is the actual footage from the film. Here you'll see the singer/actor with the amazing voice in his role.

Do catch it (if you find a way to)... but be sure to get the one with English subtitles, it's filmed entirely in French :)

What's that?

Another crazy night out. heh. Zouk was packed so we decided to head over to a quaint little ktv @ chinatown thereabouts (and as AC says, "just becoz we are in chinatown, u dont have to sing chinese songs u know!")...

So sorry Vam, couldn't make my way into zouk to find u... but Happy Happy Birthday, san jie!! We'll celebrate with u soon!

Well, this is a really random post, but K says, "Eh u never update for over a week. I've been checking ur blog everyday for new posts... wah lau".

So THERE!!! Brighten up ur boring life. Heehee. U know i still love u bro.

Our TGIF parties are getting wilder and bigger... (It's our weekly routine where we end the work week with kegs of beer, bottles of liquor, and crazy games by AC's pool.) Started with just our peeps, but apparently now people are pouring in by the droves.

And like the boyz say - when u party with us, get ready to get wet (thrown into the pool), drunk (hell yea, we'll pour alcohol down ur throat), and dirty (ask AC).

Wall-E

Busy Busy packing n moving these few days... (in fact, I'm blogging admist the chaos now with 4 ahbeng movers banging around the house. Pretty soon the chair I sit on will be pulled out from under me) But I still make time to hang out with friends... and blog...

Thursday night went out with Josh n his new GF, ATJ (Andrew The Jew - long story), and Andrea... KTV and hung out at Andrea's place drinking n playing stupid games the whole night. Crawled home @ 5 plus in the morning and ATJ went to camp straight.... 2nd weekend in a row that we're intoxicated and sleep deprived.

That's why last night, we decided to cancel all plans for partying (since I was packing the whole day and moving this morning) and just take it easy. So the boys took me to watch Wall-E.

(Don't worry, I proof-watched it and the twist of the plot isn't in this MTV. Most parts of it aren't from the movie and the rest are in the trailer anyway)

ATJ: "I like it. My Favorite line in the show - I don't wanna survive. I wanna live."

Kieran: "I will definitely recommend it."

Me: "Soooo Sweeeettt.... I like the stars and the music. *Swoooons*"

Jeremy: "Eh, did any of you guys sleep in that movie?"

You be the judge.

Summer loves!!!

Alright, back to school... and I'm SO reluctant. Well, you would understand why a geek like me absolutely refuses to go back to school if you were here during my summer break.... (If you weren't, tough luck. Haha.)

I was living it up and here's how it went down!

Late nights with my girls

Jiemeis on a bridge (This whole area is like where we spent most of our sec sch days, so we decided to go reminisce a little....) And to confirm rumours - Yup, Cosy Bay has closed down... but the Brewerks just across the river is pretty nice, so not too bad.

Jiemeis @ Bellini... I know I look different here, I was trying out some new make-up styles.. Qi says I better stick to my usual make-up coz I look weird. Hahaha. OK LAH STOP LOOKING.

Andrea my little sis clubber. She's like younger than me but she looks older?? She dresses damn maturedly lah..........................It's ok anyway, I'm like Forever 18. Don't try to tell me I'm not. I don't care what you think. Heh.

Late Nights (and days) with the Boys

My brother from another mother - yea, we're as retarded as each other. Hahaha. And yes, he IS trying to fellatio the old man in the picture. It's this really funky ktv at chinatown where the rooms are really cheap, and the walls are painted with such cartoons.

I do believe we were considerably intoxicated.

Jeremy - our poly friend and driver for the day. He ACTUALLY managed to remain sober while Andrew and I drank and went crazy.

Just another one of those bellini nights with my best boys. Meet Kieran, my bestfriend with the love-hate relationship. Yep, we've known each other for a good 10 years and after numerous fights decided we loved/hated each other to bits.

Ok, look at the pictures here, guage the intoxication and laughter.... and then multiply it by a hundred fold (add a few thousands to that to compensate for the times we were too drunk to be taking pictures... or so high that we look crappy in pictures).........

And you'll know why I don't wanna go back to school.

Tell Bree!

Do my poll!!!

It's the little check and vote on the right. Won't take you more than a minute.

And it's totally anonymous, I promise.

I act so cool

Even when I'm melting inside......

*swoons* i wanna fall in love!!

hmmm.... maybe.

Portrait of Bree (extremely long post) -do you think it's accurate?

Portrait of an ENFP - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling)

The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values.

An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.

ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgement. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgement to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

ENFP Relationships

ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.

ENFP Strengths

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationships issues:
Good communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs
Usually loyal and dedicated

ENFP Weaknesses

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:
Tendency to be smothering
Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

ENFPs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be, that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.

Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time.

The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?

ENFPs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies,so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.

The ENFP may exhibit an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child's best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the

ENFP's genuine desire to relate to their children on the children's level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child's friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.

The children of ENFPs generally feel loved, because the ENFP gives their children plenty of genuine warmth and support. They usually value their children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. The ENFP's enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to their children. This will be especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, who will have a difficult time understanding the effervescence of the ENFP, and will feel at times embarassed by the ENFP's enthusiasm and tendency to display their affection publicly.

The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.

The rich imagination and creativity of the ENFP parent creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. The ENFP's strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. The ENFP parent is valued by their children for their warm, affirming natures, and their fun-loving approach to living.

ENFPs as Friends

ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.

In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease.

They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. The ENFP will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case the ENFP may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.

For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.

Careers for ENFP Personality Types

Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.

ENFPs generally have the following traits:
Project-oriented
Bright and capable
Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills
Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people
Able to relate to people on their own level
Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above their own
Future-oriented
Dislike performing routine tasks
Need approval and appreciation from others
Cooperative and friendly
Creative and energetic
Well-developed verbal and written communication skills
Natural leaders, but do not like to control people
Resist being controlled by others
Can work logically and rationally - use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it
Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories

ENFPs are lucky in that they're good at quite a lot of different things. An ENFP can generally achieve a good degree of success at anything which has interested them. However, ENFPs get bored rather easily and are not naturally good at following things through to completion.

Accordingly, they should avoid jobs which require performing a lot of detailed, routine-oriented tasks. They will do best in professions which allow them to creatively generate new ideas and deal closely with people. They will not be happy in positions which are confining and regimented.
The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ENFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list.

There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.
Possible Career Paths for the ENFP:
Consultant
Psychologist
Entrepreneur
Actor
Teacher
Counselor
Politician / Diplomat
Writer / Journalist
Television Reporter
Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist
Scientist
Engineer

Find out about your personality type @ mypersonality.info and mail me your results @ trytofindme@gmail.com !!! heh :) Thanks!

I float like a feather in a beautiful world.

Two paths ahead, but I see no end... the winding roads do not allow me to see past the bend.
One, with beautiful roses and their alluring scent... the way seems almost surreal.
The other, sturdy with paved assurance, not as fine as the first, but more stable.

Yet, walking down either one would be a risk - the risk of not walking the other.
I was pretty sure that at least one of them will lead to someplace magical... perhaps both will, perhaps neither.
And as much as I'd like to believe it's the path so fair that will lead me there, something tugs at my heart strings to tell me to beware - wisdom it seems, reminds that dedication and devotion trumps passion.

So I took the confident path, the one with caution. It seems easy and comforting.
I knew each step would be followed with a certain next.
The rhythm in my footsteps resounded with safety and security, and I should be so lucky.

But alas, what a temptress the scent can be.
Flirty fingers from the roses reach across and attempt to lure me away from my sanctuary.
I steal guilty glances across at the other path and I wonder if it's because I had cast it aside, but suddenly it seems even more alluring.
Like a lady possessed, I ventured a step out of my way, then another.

I tried to resist, for I hated to leave the comfort and security.
But beauty beckons and all I could do was to respond...
Before long, I was basking in the delicate elegance, intoxicated by charm.
I feel my last shred of caution dissolve in hot passion.

I sneaked a peek at my old santuary. it's nice to know it's still there, running right along side should I need a shelter.
But I know that if I ran this way too long, the paths will part and it'll be harder to get back on the other track.
There's a chance this road might not even lead anywhere... (do I feel caution coming back to bring me home?)

Here I stand, in the middle of 2 roads...
Prudence and armament holds my hand, while radiance and passion lures.

Which way should I go?

Summer Break!!!!

"Woohoo...!!", That's what I yelled at the top of my voice as I contemplated to do a jump and kick my heels together while running out of the examination hall. But seeing that I was in a full-length flowy skirt, I decided to celebrate in a subtle way - where I don't make a fool of myself and piss people off in the process.

Sooo.... we drove down to town immediately after the paper, where jeraine and I shopped our stress away - what do you know? Retail therapy really works!

Rejoice -yes, Party -yes, but somehow I don't see much of a 'BREAK', since my holidays are gonna be jammed pack with stuff. Here's a little preview of my itinery:

1. Road trip to JB tomorrow with Fudzy n the guys.
2. Whisked away to spend the evening with my best ladies - my jiemeis, the moment I enter through the customs back into Singapore (I swear, they've got people on standby waiting to grab me from the car).
3. Head back to the office on Friday.
4. Leave work early on Friday to attend 080808 event @ City Harvest Church, where our church has been invited to take part in some Indian Christian Network 'Yeshua' event (yes, I'm from an Indian church. What else is new?)
5. Saturday, I HOPE to pack up my room to get ready for moving day, otherwise sleep in
6. Saturday night.......my favorite place in the entire world - bellini!
7. Sunday - the same thing i do every sunday - try to take over the world! (No one here watches pinky and the brain? Awww. COME Oooon.) Ok lah, church day lah.
8. And then next week comes, and we do it all over again.

Speaking of melting at the sound of saxaphones and feeling nostalgic over tunes (totally random, I know. HAhahahaha).... here's Fausto Papetti. Many of you may have heard me say, "I don't react to words; I react to actions."...... but here's what I left out - music. Ahhhhhh....... the melodies of Fausto Papetti.... soothes the soul and craddles the child in me. Ok lah, I should stop trying to sound poetic and disgust all of you - after all, my words can never do any justice to his music. Just listen.

You'll never know how much I love you

You'll never know how much I love you...

It's true. I can never get enough of you - every second apart is like months or even years... I think about you all the time, and all I want to do is to be around you.

You give me the strength to stay awake even on the most tiring days when all I want to do is just crawl back into bed - you are like my morning coffee. You soothe my moods and allow me to relax and be myself and to smile even when the day has gone bad - you are like my evening cocktails.

There are many things I'll never know, like where we'll be in the future. Perhaps many will come and go, and perhaps we'll find another - but 1 thing I know for sure, is that the world will lose it's color without you. The entire world will seem to fade to black and white. You may think I'm exaggerating, but when the one you love isn't with you.... you just can't be bothered to take notice of anything else.

When I'm all by myself, you're the reason I am able to smile. When I'm sick, you're the reason I am able to muster all my strength to sit up in bed. When I am at my most down point, you're the reason I believe in a better day.

But I'm sorry. I'm fickle. I may have let you down and it may break your heart - but sometimes it's hard for me to choose. Each and everyone of you have a special place in my heart and I just can't let any of you go.

Perhaps holding onto all will eventually cause me to lose everything, and maybe when the deck is too heavy, the boat will sink. If that's the case, then let us perish together.....

This picture will always remind me of the wonderful times we've all had together, and it'll be enough.



This is my table in lecture. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm talking about my love for all things pink.

Over-doing it? Hardly. I feel most at ease when I'm surrounded by different shades of pink. And shoudn't we all do the things that make us happy?

A wise-guy (who shall not be named, but we'll just call him Aaron Yeo) once said, "Omg, you're like a bimbo.. but you're smart. Ok, I know - you have a princess complex! Everything around you have to be pink and pretty."

Bimbo? Princess? Haha. I'm just a Geek in the Pink!

(p/s: Look at my laptop screen... I'm actually typing lecture notes. If you REALLY zoom in, you will notice that the words are exactly the same as the ones on the big screen.)

Be Your Man

Ok, I've decided to be kind and translate this song for all of you who don't understand Mandarin - but believe me when I say the English translation doesn't do justice to the deep meaning the song holds in it's original form.

This is the closest I can get with the translation. Scroll down to watch the Music Video... the sweet melodious tune makes it less cheesy. Haha :)

东京纽约每个地点 (Dōngjīng Niǔyuē měige dìdiǎn)
带你去坐幸福的地下铁 (dài nǐ qù zuò xìngfú de dìxià tiě)

Be it Tokyo or New York, it doesn't matter where.
I'll take you for a ride on the subway to happiness.

散步逛街找电影院 (sànbù guàngjiē zhǎo diànyǐngyuàn)
累了我就帮你提高跟鞋 (lèi le wǒ jiù bāng nǐ tí gāogēnxié)

We could take a stroll, shop or look for a cinema.
And if you're tired, I'll hold your high-heel shoes.

塞车停电哪怕下雪 (sāichē tíngdiàn nǎpà xiàxuě)
每天都要和你过情人节 (měitiān dōu yào hé nǐ guò qíngrénjié)

Be it in traffic jams, black-outs, or even snow.
I could celebrate valentine's day with you any day.

星光音乐一杯热咖啡 (xīngguāng yīnyuè yī bēi rè kāfēi)
只想给你所有浪漫情节 (zhǐ xiǎng gěi nǐ suǒyǒu làngmàn qíngjié)

Star light, music, maybe even a cup of hot coffee.
I'll do all to create the romance for you.

让我做你的男人 (ràng wǒ zuò nǐ de nánrén)
二十四个小时不睡觉 (èr shí sì gè xiǎoshí bù shuìjiào)

Let me be your man,
I'll not sleep a wink.

小心翼翼地保持 (xiǎoxīnyìyì de bǎochí)
这种热情不退烧 (zhè zhǒng rèqíng bù tuì shāo)

I'll keep guard with all my heart,
Not to let the flame of passion burn out.

不管世界多纷扰 (bùguǎn shìjiè duō fēnrāo)
我们俩紧紧地拥抱 (wǒmen liǎ jǐnjǐn de yōngbào)

Let the world carry on in their commotion,
We'll just hold each other close.

隐隐约约我感觉有微笑 (yǐnyǐnyuēyuē wǒ gǎnjué yǒu wēixiào)
藏在你嘴角 (cáng zài nǐ zuǐjiǎo)

And then faintly, I shall see a smile,
play on the corners of your lips.

做你的男人 (zuò nǐ de nánrén)
二十四个小时不睡觉 (èr shí sì gè xiǎoshí bù shuìjiào)

I'll be your man,
and keep awake all through the night.

让胆小的你在黑夜中 (ràng dǎnxiǎo de nǐ zài hēiyè zhōng)
也会有个依靠 (yě huì yǒu gè yīkào)

So that if you ever get afraid in the darkness,
I can be there to comfort you.

就算有一天爱会变少 (jiù suàn yǒu yī tiān ài huì biàn shǎo)
人会变老 (rén huì biàn lǎo)

There may come a day where love falters,
and we'll age.

就算没告诉过你也知道 (jiùsuàn méi gàosu guò nǐ yě zhīdào)
下辈子还要和你遇到 (xià bèizi hái yào hé nǐ yùdào)

But it goes without saying,
that in my next lifetime, I'll want to do it all over again.

Cuteness comes in pairs

These pictures make me smile all the time :)

And I know it's physically impossible to control and decide - but I'm SO gonna have twins.

I don't care.

Be My Man

If you don't understand mandarin, too bad.

Sat in the car at the parking lot with violet, drinking Hooch, looking at stars and the Sentosa monorails and chatting.... And listening to this song.

Her: Bree, I just realized... I met S the same time you met J. We've been dating
different men since we became bestfriends and yet today, we're here just the 2
of us.
Me: People come and go in life, Vi. Men too. But bestfriends are forever.
Her: Yea. -passes me the bottle of hooch and takes a puff of her cigarette- I guess. WAit, did the guy (refering to the song) just say 'help you carry your high heel shoes'?
Me: Yea. (translating part of the lyrics) He said he'll take her for walks, shopping trips and to look for movie theatres... and if she gets tired, he'll carry her high heel shoes for her.
Her: Where to find such men, bree?
Me: Beats me. -gulps heavily on Hooch- If I knew I wouldn't be here, babe.

Hahaha. Depressing? Hardly. I've got my soulmate - what more can I ask for?

Ok, maybe the fictional guy in that song. IF he even exists.

I just called to say - I love you.

Whenever I hear those tunes that are so familiar to me, something tugs at my heart string and no matter how tough and strong I am on the outside, something crumbles inside. No matter how nonchalant and unmoved I appear to be, the little girl inside dances around.

Once in awhile, I like to shed the cloak that experiences and possibly 'wisdom' have thrown over me, and take the little girl out for a spin. Maybe just once, it's ok be vulnerable and weak - because in those familiar tunes, I feel warm and safe.

Say you, say me...

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

Many times we give our heart out to someone who takes it, holds it, rips it to pieces and leave whatever's left for you to mend. But sometimes some parts get lost... and after repeated tearing and ripping, you're not left with much. Then you try to hold on to whatever little bit that's left and you protect it with all your might, refusing to let anyone bite off a chunk again.

We broke up in April, yet I waited for him for 2 months. Until all my friends, tired and exasperated of seeing me tormenting myself and suffering (lack of sleep, not eating, crying so badly that violet had to meet me everyday to make sure I eat in front of her, and call me every night to talk to me till I doze off)... coaxed me and made me promise to give up and move on. That didn't really work, I would have waited forever if I could. It wasn't a bad ending, noone cheated on anyone, noone murder anyone's dog... we just got tired.

But what really made me give up (on that relationship and any in the near future), was his cold harsh words, his indifference, his actions (going out of the way to avoid me, ignoring me totally when we see each other at church each sunday, not so much as a cordial smile or hello). Perhaps if things were diferent, if he didnt say those things, act the way he did... or perhaps if I didn't see something that I saw (something that only my bestfriends know)... perhaps I might still be able to open the door to that special place in my heart.

But now it's wedged shut. I'll admit there's room in my heart for him and there always will be. But that door is pretty much locked for now.

I'll always love the Carrolls - they were kind to me. I'll never forget his mom, his older brother - Ian, who has been like an older brother to me too, even after the break up, his text messages provided comfort more than he realizes -"Hey, kiddo, study for your exams", "Don't worry too much, u'll be fine", "We'll always regard you as family"... I still hold them dear in my prayers.

Now, 3 months after all the hurt and pain, when I'm finally starting to piece back the pieces in my life and everything starts to seem complete again, when I'm able to look back on my time with him with a sad smile and say it was surreal, and let memories of him slowly fade - A text message on my PPP (pretty pink phone), which josh named joni:

"I just want u to know, that i've never loved someone as much as i have loved
you. No one can replace that. You're always special in my heart. Always."

I simply couldn't bring myself to reply.

After all, what can I say to that?

I like this.

Kinda cute in depressing sort of way. Kinda like me, don't you think? That even at my most depressing state, I still manage to make people laugh :) Maybe I have evolved into robot - that might actually be kinda cool.

Sang this song in church on Sunday and it really moved me:

Hide me now

Under your wings

Cover me

within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with you above the storm

Father you are king over the flood

I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul

In Christ alone

Know his power

In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with
you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still
and know you are God

After the laughter dies down and people part, what makes you genuinely smile?

When there's nothing more that you can say, may it's time to just be still and listen.

When you see an old couple walking silently beside one another, do you feel sad for them that they have nothing more to say to each other... or do you envy them that they're so close, nothing more needs to be said?

Lovely Men

Mahfudz gave me a brand new supply transport unit singlet today in class!
Alvin gave me his combat engineer one last week...

And my older sis and her bf just got home and he brought back 4 army singlets for me!!! Sister's bf is the Best!!! He's like the big brother I never had.
All different kinds too. I can just imagine the trouble he went to, to collect them from all his friends.

He was also super patient and sweet to me during my last break up when I would call him and cry over the phone for hours. He gives me great advice, plus he's wise and kind. (Sorry ladies, too bad he's taken! Hahaha!) I'm so glad to have him as part of our family. Thanks Yane!!!

Thanks Fudzy!!! Thanks Alvin!!!

Anymore kind hearted men out there???

-will take pictures and catalog my entire collection when i collect more-

You Belong To Me

Jaded maybe, but definitely not dead. After all, songs like these still make me melt.

Logan, The Sky Angel Cowboy

This really touched me. It's a live recording from a radio talkshow.. This little boy, Logan, calls in to a Christian radio station to speak with the DJ about something that happened to him.

I think we should take the time to listen to this. This little boy is wiser that many of us who are much older than him, and his child-like faith is something we should all have.

Enjoy!

Back from Bellini

at 4:37am

My love, Smile sweetly.
For the sweet rose of bellini.
Behold, it blooms with such awe and beauty.
So smile sweetly, my love.

My love, softly listen.
For the rose blooms only in season.
Maybe just once, we could defy all reason.
And listen so softly, my love.

My love, stay awhile longer.
For as long as the scent will linger.
We know can be no better singer,
So stay awhile longer, my love.

My love, it's time to go.
For all flowers wither, we know.
Just remember we'll always love you so,
And help us let go, my love.

Tonight, Tom Brown danced his last lap around the dance floor.
Amazingly, he shone like never before.

cheers, Tom. You're a winner.



-missing you loads!-

Doing my part for the environment

My latest hobby is collecting used army unit singlets...

please surrender them here :)

Name your price @ trytofindme@gmail.com

I missed home.

Back from the land of no toilet paper (they use paper towels there), of where green fairy is legal, and of wonderful beef cup noodles (with real huge chunks of beef in them *beg me for one, I brought back 20).

Got in at midnight and missed my bed so much, I decided to crash.

No pictures or blog posts for now (wonders how many of you notice the irony, since this is one), got an appointment with my beautician. She's missing me lots, apparently. Either that or she sensed my desperation over the phone - I had successfully managed to pluck out half of my eyelashes. Don't ask.

Damn, I think I've aged 10 yrs in 5 days. I'm even balding (on my eyelids). Argh.

Oh yea, really missed Singapore. More than I thought I would. Strange.

Kawaii.... or 'Kawa-EEEee, that's damn freaky!' ??

This cute, innocent, sweet young thing... is Miwako, a Taiwanese model.

In case you're wondering why my sudden interest in the act cute, 'kawaii' girl... the kind that I often mock for the lack of beauty or brains.. (of course I did not know any better because this one obviously found the secret to staying young).

And by young, I mean infancy. This 3-year old looking dolly is 22 years old! Amazingly shocking. Ok, I have to say I am intrigued..

Intrigued by the fact that any man short of a paedophile would find her remotely attractive. I mean, women do want to look young... but sometimes, we have to acknowledge the existance of the concept - 'taking it too far'.

Apparently, Alvin decided to scare me on MSN 10 hours before my flight to Taiwan.

Alvin:
hahah
see this
bree!!!:
ehhh u say jer is tiko pek
u more tiko right
looking at peodophiliac pics
Alvin:
no
she is 22 and i just saw it at forum
i think it is scary and not remotely attractive
how is that being tiko

bree!!!:
now im damn scared lah
later i go
taiwan
infested with *** **** *** people like that (** sensored coz I remember I'm going there, and I don't wanna offend taiwan people later I wont be able to come back in one piece)
Alvin:
ahhah
good luck to you

Ok, scary... or attractive??? I'm sure if she's a famous model, she must have a huge fan base... are most of her fans made up of paedophiliac, balding old men? Or is the "ideal age" of women just getting younger and younger???

Hehe, Ok. Just some last terrifying thoughts before I leave. Goodbye, my babies!

The crazy virus that feeds on social lives.

Supposed to go Bellini again with Violet and Kieran... but plans cancelled coz I *croak* lost my voice.

(Yes, fudz.. I know you warned me last night at supper about drinking that milo dinosaur. Stop gloating now.)

I thought we could all hang out again before I left for Taiwan on Friday... but apparently can't, coz I gotta spend most of tomorrow packing my lugguage.

Oh well, Monday was great anyway (a little too great, since I evidently lost my voice after that night)... and we took lots of pictures at Bellini over the weekend so I've got fond memories to bring with me when I'm at Taiwan....

Speaking of which... awww.. I almost don't wanna go now... Been talking to my friends on MSN:

This is Ning, the meanie who everyone thought was void
of emotions...

bree!!!:
u wan anything frm taiwan?
Ning -:
i wan... u to come back safe and sound.
bree!!!:
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Ning -:
wat awww
i have everything i need right here
but
by friday
ill be missing a best fren half around the world

And here's Kieran, the part-English
not-so-gentleman

Kieran:
I called Vi just now and we decided
we'll wait for you to come back then we'll parrrtaaeee
we figure you better rest up now before the trip
so you'll be
gd as new =)
bree!!!:
i miss u
guyssssss
Kieran:
Aww...I miss you
truckloads!
cheer up though k?
We'll wait for u!
day after tmr i can't
believe it...so fast!
x.x

Ok, shall not say more since I've lost my voice (now, don't be a wiseass and say that there's no relation since I'm typing and not speaking on my blog).

Oh, anyone else wants anything from Taiwan???

The reason I love Bellini...

Me with my favorite Bellini men! Hehe. Tom Brown's grooves and Raziz's saxy tunes always completes my night..


My best Bellini lady!! Jeassea Thyidor's croons makes my weekend perfect..

Ok, another week of school and work ahead... And I'm all rejuvenated and rested and ready for it! My only complain is that I won't be able to join the gang at Bellini this coming weekend 'coz I'll be in Taiwan!!! *Sob*

But I'll be back just in time for Tom's farewell party... Yep, Tom will be going back to the UK for good in 2 weeks time :( I'm so gonna miss him... Bellini will never be the same without Tom Brown.

Go have fun, kids... but not too much fun. Don't forget to think of me fondly.

Think about it...

Just some random thoughts...

1. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.
2. What is the value of money, if we don't use it?
3. What do we live for... if there is nothing that we are willing to die for?
4. Is it arrogant to think that we are capable of being humble?
5. If we keep drawing the line and boundaries with people around us, we are ultimately, inevitable just drawing a circle around ourselves.

Will think about it further and add more thoughts soon.

What do you think?

Mr. Lion

I met him at Adil's bar last Saturday.... but last night we went back there again for a totally different reason. Lol. Mr. Lion brought me to see kittens!

Ok, I was supposed to be up all night studying for my exams... but when he said he saw cute little kittens near Adil's bar on his way home, I couldn't resist!! So he came and picked me up around midnight... and we went down to buy cat food for the kittens. OMG! They're so terribly cute!!!

After that we went for supper at geylang... but ended up walking around looking at illegal gambling dens and prostitues. It was so exciting! I mean, I usually drive around looking at such stuff, but I've never actually got down and walked. When he suggested that I thought he was kidding... but it's really alot more exciting when you're walking around!

Oh, he also let me drive his manual car. Haha. It's been more than a year since I even touched a stick shift. I rekindled my love for manual cars! I remember I wanted to buy one but didn't out of convenience. Haha. And I kinda stalled and messed around his car abit before I got the hang of it.. *so sorry, leonel!*

Eventually, we took out Macs and came back to my place to eat (coz he remembered I had to study for my morning paper. I conveniently forgot).... he dozed off around 3am, me around 5am. He woke up at 7 and realized he was late for work. Haha! Ooops! Both of us are such bad influence on each other?

He left immediately, but he let me sleep in and called me on my mobile to wake me up at 8am to study for my exam.

Well..... Overall, barely studied... coz I had to rush for my exam which was at 11.45am.

But who cares? Hahaha.

Emo Mood

Exams tomorrow and the day after. Guess that explains the rare blog posts lately.

Doesn't help with the studying when I'm getting EMO. It's really amazing how songs can change one's mood doesn't it?




My latest guilty pleasure. Super Emo song!!

Haha. Surprisingly, getting emo in the middle of the night alone in my room is rather.... erm, pleasurable and intoxicating.

Getting lost in the surreal dimension of emotions is somehow more enjoyable than facing the cold hard world... and the emotionless responses we've been conditioned to display.

It's refreshing to just let yourself go and frolick around in sentiments once in awhile :)

I fell in love with a Bumblebee

I fell in love with a bumblebee,
Though I don't know if he loves me.
But we know, both him and I -
That if he stung me, he would die.

I don't want someone I can live with... I want someone I cannot live without.

That was what Audrey and I were talking about in the car after we left Clastalia's wedding and were on our way to pick Violet.

When we settle down, are we just settling for second best, settling for the fact that there is no one out there who is better, settling for whatever we can get?

I'd like to think I know what I want in life and that everything will eventually fall into place - but some thoughts just scare me. Perhaps it was the way Audrey said it - with resignation. I don't necessarily agree with what she says.... but the fact that some people actually think this way, and that there MIGHT be some truth to it... is scary.

Scary thought #1: The one we love the most is often not the one we marry... The one we marry, is most often the one that we do not love (as much). Why do people marry, if not for love??? I simply cannot imagine myself in a love-less marriage. Audrey says don't marry the one you cannot live without, because if he leaves you, you will die. Just settle for someone you can live with - life will be much easier. The thought of my marriage being dispensable scares me.

She says after the one you really love breaks you heart, you will realize that maybe love isn't everything... Hence,

Scary thought #2: If the one you love does not treat you well, you'll be miserable. However, even if the one you do not love (as much) treats you well, you'll be miserable too. Therefore, it's better to be miserable with someone who treats you well. Somehow, this scares me. Are we supposed to choose between "love" and "treatment"??? Why does it seem highly impossible that I will meet a man I love, who will treat me well? She says it's reality, I think it's just hopelessness. This hopelessness I see in my friend scares me.

She explains,

Scary thought #3: If you fall in love deeply, you will get hurt. We should have reservations, even with the one we love. Otherwise, when they leave, we'll be broken and shattered. I agree to a certain extent. While it is ok to give all my heart, it is not ok to give all my life. She said she had given up her family, friends, education for the one she loved and when he left, she was ruined. Such devastation and damage the one we love and trust can cause scares me.

Scary thought #4: It's ok to be with someone less than perfect, and keep waiting for Mr.Right. This is freaky. I will not be with anyone unless I think he IS Mr. Right. Why settle for second best? But what if we never meet anyone better... and what we initailly THOUGHT was second best, was infact the best already? When do we stop waiting? When I fall in love, I expect it to be forever. She says I should stop living in my fantasy world... Never say 'forever' because a better guy might come along. Well, for me.. if I fall in love, I would at least believe it's with the best and to me, there will never be anyone better. The idea of love being so fickle scares me.

Isn't love supposed to be the most pure, simple and natural thing? Why has it become so corrupted, complicated, and confusing?


I don't ask for things to be simple... I just want someone who can make me fall in love and forget about all the complications that don't matter. I want to fall in love with a bumblebee who would never hurt me... for fear that if he did, he would die.

Ok, maybe I'm just a coward after all.

Fighting for Peace is like Fucking for Virginity - Pointless.

Non-virgin men and their virgin wives... this poses such an irony to me. Let me explain.

I remember once in poly, we had a class discussion and I decided to conduct a spontaneous poll. How many men oppose to pre-marital sex? 2 hands went up. How many men want a virgin wife? well... alot more hands went up this time. Here's the irony - If men kept sleeping around before marriage, won't that in turn deplete the pool of virgin ladies? And hence, will it not be harder to find a virgin wife?

Ok, so the scales of the gender ratio are tipped, creating a scenario of there being an abundance of women, and well... scarcity of men. Is this possibly the reason for infidelity? Simply - availability.

Like in economics... the value of a certain good is directly proportional to its scarcity. The core of economics is in fact, built on the idea of scarcity and choice. Being, if we choose something, other than costs incurred, we incur the additional 'opportunity cost' of letting go of the 2nd best option. Hence, someone came up with the science of making the 'best decision'... to minimize losses.

Somehow, the curves of supply and demand for gender have crossed in such a way that baby girls are being abandoned in China, and for young girls in India to be married off before they 'expire'. Does abundance really decrease value? Apparently, in those cases, this is so.

Well, I still believe that women are God's greatest gift to men. And having more women around just further emphasizes God's generous nature. This in no way makes women any less valuable than men. And this in no way allows ANY man to take advantage of a woman, encourage her to engage in pre-marital sex... then in turn chooses to marry a virgin.

"When the last virgin is fucked, only then will men realize that their penises cannot solve EVERYTHING."

-ignore my words if you're offended.

Mould me or take me as I am?

When we get to know someone, we're blind... blinded to their flaws, their strengths, their thoughts. But since we're inevitably affected by our surroundings and we're all the products of the people we know and our environment... we're like clay (that can be moulded and shaped).

Here's a thought. When we get to know someone, we're like a blind man feeling a clump of clay in our hands. If we press too hard and impose too much of our ideas upon them... before we get to know them for who they really are, we have unintentionally (or not) moulded them with our fingers. Hence, the shape we feel.... is simply the shape of our own hands. How do we know what is the right amount of pressure to exert then?

Like how 2 ice cubes which are pressed against each other... the pressure and the heat causes the surface atoms and molecules to melt, and then freeze back again so the ice cubes are joined together. Is change inevitable when 2 bodies come into contact?

How much of us are changed by people we meet... and how much do we retain? IF in fact, we are meant to be a product of the people we meet and our environment... resisting that change will not make us who we are really meant to be. Perhaps, that's just how humans evolve, grow, mature, and adapt.

After all, if everyone remains the same... the world will never change.

Is change after all, the only constant?

Don't bother to comment or correct. This is just random ramblings. A thought that found it's way to my blog before it got lost somewhere in my mind again.

Stolen!

See my new music list at the side? Loved it so much that I stole it from violet's blog. Haha.

Call me old-fashioned, call me uncool. This is the kind of music I groove to. None of that r&b, hiphop, trance stuff for me... Really good music is timeless :)

Listen to the songs and if you like it too, join me and violet at Bellini Room some time!

*It's really cool when your bestfriend loves the same silly, old fashioned music you do and isn't too cool to admit it. Thanks, babe.. for being you!

Hotdog Hero!

No superman for now... My favorite hero comes armed with ketchup and mustard.

It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet.

True love does exist, I know it's out there somewhere.

In fact, it's everywhere. It's in the old couple who walked past me on the street hand-in-hand and smiles on their faces, Beethoven when he wrote Moonlight Sonata for that dutchess he was infatuated with, or even the little boy on the playground who offers the little girl the cream side of the oreo (true love doesn't get any truer than that).

Violet and I went to 'Popular' bookstore yesterday and I picked up a copy of Romeo and Juliet. True love at its greatest, most dramatic form. As I read my favorite verses out to Violet... it felt so unnatural and silly. I wondered - who talks like that anymore?

What really irked me about that book.. is that it seemed so PERFECT. The meeting, the rendezvous... even the timing of their deaths seemed oddly perfect. If Romeo had come just a moment later and seen Juliet waking up from her sleep, he wouldn't have to killed himself at all.

But does true love always have to be perfect to be memorable? I believe it's not about finding the perfect one.. but rather, seeing perfection in an imperfect one. While I believe that soulmates do exist, I don't believe soulmates only happen when you find the perfect one and fall deeply in love. I still believe in a wonderful marriage and the happily ever after. But I believe it takes alot of hard work. Things don't just magically work out simply because you're in love.

Perhaps true love isnt just as simple as growing old together, writing a tune or offering the cream side of the oreo to the one you love. Perhaps it really does take a superman to sweep me off my feet... or to sweep everything into a perfect little bundle. Who knows?

All I know is that right now, this gal doesn't need no sweeping. My life's in a mess and that's the way I like it. Soulmates? Why settle for the ONE when I can have many?

Mesmerized...

that special place :)

Changes in my life...

I permed my hair. Again.

I'm single. Again.

I realized how much my friends love me. Again.

My life will never be the same again.

8 things I can't leave home without

8 Things I Can't Leave Home Without
1) Wallet - $$ and driver's liscence.
2) Keys - Car + home
3) Phone - In case I get lost in some ulu place and I need directions
4) Namecard holder - In case I suddenly have to go meet clients or some event to attend to
5) Make up pouch - same reason as #4
6) Personal handy 1st Aid Kit - Asthma inhaler + cotton wool + panadols + mentrual cramps pills + sanitary pad, etc
7) Organizer - In case I have some appointments I forgot about or I lose my phone (I copied all the numbers down in my organizer)
8) Bible - My security blanket

What's in your bag?

I think I'm getting OLD-er.

How do you know when you're getting OLD-er? I suddenly feel that I am.... there are a few incidents.

1) When I used to meet up with my jiemeis, we either got kbox, gossip about old school mates, play mahjong for hours, or look up people's friendsters and laugh at their pictures.

NOW... when I met up with Pam, all we did was talk about serious relationships, money, housing loans, etc. WTF?? Then we met up again the following week and gym'd, not gossiping about old school mates or anything..... ARGH. I'm totally losing my 38-ness.

Next time u all see me, better throw some juicy gossip my way.

2) The little kids I usually meet will play with me and their parents will ask them to call me "jiejie". Now suddenly I'm known as Auntie Brina by children @ church and friend's houses.

3) I used to club and pub every week, and sometimes even everyday. And when no pubs are open during the week, my sis and I would actually be desperate enough to hit some Thai Discos. Most of the times having to take turns to drink-drive home.

NOW... I went to zouk with my boyfriend last week (complaining and nagging the whole time about having to dress up and go to a crowded place when all I wanted to do was sit at home and watch TV) to meet his colleagues. I insisted that I will not step into phuture (young kids place) and I will only go to Velvet. But apparently his colleague opened a bottle and I found a stool so I'm happy just sitting and drinking. I started talking to his aprox. 30 yr old colleague, and he told me he hangs out at Lunar, DblO, MOS, etc. OMG, I used to go to DblO with my cousin (loved the ladies night free flow)... but that was DAMN long ago. Like, she's ACTUALLY a mother now. I'm totally OUT of the clubbing phase. Oh, and we took a cab coz Jason refused to let me drive while I'm drinking (he's becoming UNCLE too nowadays).

4) ULTIMATE: On saturday, I woke up at 12pm, washed up, watched TV for 2 hours then NAPPED till 7pm before going for dinner with my family. While I napped, Jason watched 'Skin Crawlers' on his laptop and did miscelleneous stuff around the house.

What happened to the Saturdays when we were so bogged down with social events like birthdays, BBQs, parties, cycling, etc??? SATURDAY LEH!!! The only day I get off from school and work and church... and I chose to SLEEP.


Apparently, here's what Violet and I do for fun now.

Hit the store and try on lame hats.

We should move to texas and hook some cowboys. HAhaha.

Trannys, Vikings and Weird Pink haired ladies never looked so good.
Our Bondage/BDSM costumes for next Halloween.
We tried to look fierce like some pirates of the carribbean picture but the blue price tags keep swinging to the front.... so Tak-Glam.

Anyway, BACK TO MY POINT of getting old.... and to the fact that my lovely cousin June who brought me clubbing since I was 14 and always hit ladies night with me... is now a mother.

I THINK I REALLY OVER THE HILL LIAO LA!!!! Sigh. At least I have an Uncle-ish boyfriend who doesn't mind me sleeping the weekend away and staying at home watching old DVDs with me.

And at least June jie has a really cute baby that I can play with once in a while.

YANDAO RIGHT??? My first Nephew!!!

Oh, and that night at zouk when jason didn't let me drive... I got totally drunk and on the way home in a cab, we got stopped at a road-block. Imagine if I drove!!!

anyway, PHEW.

Totally outdated post... but I was busy!!!

Jason had to work on valentine's day, but he promised me that he had something planned for that weekend... I have to say, he really did manage to keep it a secret for quite awhile, but soon I found out what it was. A weekend suite @ Siloso resort at sentosa!

It was really sweet coz he was NEVER the romantic sort. He never planned anything. Our anniversaries are most often spent fine (some sort) dining + movie. His idea of a date is renting a dvd and buying chips and watching it in bed together. His idea of a good date is renting a dvd with violent action and spluring on kettle honey dijon chips. So you can imagine my surprise when I found out he had planned this weekend in advance coz he knew that the hotel would be full that weekend... I was more surprised that he didn't ask me for help.

So on saturday he woke up early (5 minutes before me) and said he had to go do something, which totally didn't suit me very well since I thought we had planned that weekend together.

Him: Ok, baby. u go back to sleep. I gotta go do something.
Me: HUH?? I thought we were gonna do something together today.
Him: No, this is just for me. I need to go first. Can you drive down and meet me at the hotel later?
Me: Why? Do you have another girlfriend there?
Him: No LAH, trust me. I gotta go.
Me: WTF. I wanna go also la.
Him: Ok, ok. *Then proceed to walk off and take a cab down without me.

I decided to ignore his weird behavior and go down to the hotel myself, since we paid for it and I don't wanna waste it by staying at home. When I got there, I was totally shocked.


He had decorated the entire room in tea candles and rose petals!!!
This is the door I entered...
Awww.... I'm not exaggerating when I say I totally and entirely melted...
Then he urged me to go up to the 2nd level of the suite to take a look... I ran all the way up and look at what he did to the jaccuzi area as well!
I don't even know what to say!!! I didn't get him a present!!! I was even supposed to bring the wine and I totally forgot.

He just smiled at me and told me to change into my swimsuit and have fun in the jaccuzi. Meanwhile, he brought up the ice bucket and my favorite wine, the Moscato for me to drink in the jaccuzi. The one I forgot to buy.

He planned everything flawlessly, even though I was throwing tantrums the entire day about not being able to go down to the beach early to sun-tan... coz he had to prepare all the stuff... But he just said sorry and told me that we can go the next day.

He was so sweet, he kept asking me if he did it right and if I liked it, coz he had never attempted anything like that before and he wasn't too sure if that's how it's done. I teased him and told him he shouldn't have plucked off all the petals, he should have saved me a rose. Hahaha!

Everything was so perfect because HE did it. I never expected him to do such stuff, because usually when I tell him I like romantic stuffs and like to go nice places, he just ignores me and tells me it's a silly waste of money. Even on valentine's day, he said it was stupid to go out coz we shouldn't celebrate just for the sake of celebrating. He said it should be more special than that.

I now understand what he meant. It's really the thought that counts.. I dont think it could have been as wonderful and romantic if he wasn't there with me... it's WHO i'm with and not where I am or what I have. it's HIM that makes everyday valentine's day.

The greatest gifts that he gives me aren't the shoes he buys or the dinners he takes me to... What I lie awake at night thanking God for is Jason's unlimited patience for my tantrums and my unreasonable demands. What makes me so grateful is simply his love for me and the kind gentle support he gives me when I am down, even though I tend to vent it out on him all the time. Material things may perish, but the lessons I learn from Jason... patience, strength, understanding, love, trust... will follow me all the days of my life. *Thanks, honey!*

And here's the best part of the jaccuzi... the view from the jaccuzi in the day...

And at night.
We stayed in the jaccuzi talking and drinking wine till the sun set... It was one of those moments you know you will just remember forever. I wanted to take more pictures so I can remember that day, but I know that if I stopped to take out my handphone to take pictures, I might miss a split-second of what was going on. So I rather just enjoy the moment with him.

It was the best valentine's day ever; with the best boyfriend ever.

Was gonna upload pictures....

This is a lame post, but since I'm already logged in, I might as well.

Was gonna come home straight to sleep, but I decided to blog first since I've not blogged in a while.

Was gonna upload pictures but internet explorer kept restarting and lagging.

Since Pamela came online and there's noone home to cook for me (maid went to market), i decided to ask her to lunch.

So, no pictures for now. cya!

Last Sunday...

The night before my new semester started, Jason took me to NYDC @ Bugis. Personally, I think it was a pretty cool celebration since I'm so excited to go back to school!!! I even did a little celebratory artwork with the red pepper and cheese.

I know, I'm damn talented.

When we got home, I decided that since I'll be starting school and totally neglecting my beauty regime, I should do it for one last time. I managed to convince Jason to do it with me as well... even though he was acting macho and pretending that it was damn gay, I know secretly he enjoys it (since he admitted that he likes me to do manicure spa for him too, by the way).

Hair Treatment

Step 1: wash our hair in warm water.

Step 2: massage conditioning wax into the ends... (Guys just rub it on like gel since the ends are only 1cm away from the roots)

Step 3: Soak face-towels in hot hot hot water

Step 4: Bun hair up and wrap using hot towel (Guys don't have to attempt to bun)

Step 5: Leave on for 15mins - 30mins (Depends hair texture and thickness)

Step 6: Rise thoroughly

Facial

Step 1: Wash face thoroughly, preferbly using a facial scrub to remove all make up (Applies to certain guys too)

Step 2: Dry face by patting with dry towel

Step 3: Apply mask generously all over face, avoiding eye area

Step 4: Leave on for 15mins - 20mins (Depends on mask)

Step 5: Rub it off or rinse with warm water (Depends on mask)

In case you're still not getting the idea, here's a picture.

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I'm sorry darling!

Out of the blue

days ago, my maid brought this package into my room, exclaiming to me with indo-accent: "jie! (that's what she calls us, coz she's only 18 this year. Cute right?) You got mail ah?"


I looked at the package quizzingly for a few reasons:

1. I NEVER receive any mail except for Christmas cards or official letters (ie, credit card bills, parking/ERP fines, insurance mail, school mail).
2. WHO do I know from China???
3. This China person has my full name and address spelt perfectly + my HP number on the front. WTF?

So a feeling of paranoia overcame me. What if it's a stalker and there's a bomb inside? What if it's a dead dog or bear's paw or feotus tonic or whatever it is that China people love to eat and send across the globe? What if some kidnapper kidnapped my car, sent it to China, stripped it and sold the parts, and sent the remaining (ie, my cushions and pink dustbin) back to mock me?

But rationale quickly kicked paranoia in the butt (when I peeped out my bedroom window and saw my car perched beautifully on the front porch), and I decided that no freak or stalker from China would go to all the trouble just to bully someone in Singapore.

So I tore the packaging open and something cold and hard and weird looking dropped onto my lap.... EEEEEKKK!!!

CHEY. It's just the shoe stretcher I ordered from Ebay. So funny looking right?

Haha. Ok, I'm SUAKOO lah, never see shoe stretcher before or never order anything from Ebay before. But I must say, it works pretty well, since it stretches the shoe both sideways and lengthwise. The new pumps Jason bought for me was pinching my feet so I decided to purchase this.

AND it comes with bubble wrap, which I think is like a Bonus free gift... because who can resist popping bubble wrap, right?

Yippee! Pop! Haha! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Last night, after prayer meeting, Jason, Raj and I were on the way home, when Raj called David and David said he was on the way to JB for supper.. So we decided to go home, get our passports, and tag along for the trip. Woohoo! First roadtrip of the year 2008! Haha.

Food was damn cheap! We each changed SGD$10 to Ringgit, and we had more than enough for dinner + bubblegum. Quite a fun trip, except that it was nearly 1am in the morning and we were all in slippers + Shumi was in her Pyjamas.. Haha.

David ordered Hor Fun and Raj ordered Bee Hoon (which he didn't finish coz he ended up stealing David and my food, claiming that Bee Hoon is boring). The Hor Fun was different from Singapore's, and according to David, better. The Bee Hoon on the other hand, was as Raj sadly noted, "Aiyahh... Same like Singapore one....."

So Raj filled up on Teh-Peng (iced tea), convincing himself that it was free-flow since it costs only $0.30 per glass.

Jason and I never had the habit of eating in the middle of the night, so we decided to share a plate of Hokkien Prawn Mee, which turned out BROWN. Jason thinks it tastes like Lor Mee, but I think it's nicer than Lor Mee. It's not as watery and it tastes like Hokkien Mee, only a little sweeter and the noodles are softer, not as chewy... more like Mee Tai Mak (did I spell it right?) texture.

Anyway, we didn't take much pictures coz we were all half alseep.

But with roses from Jason, bubble wrap, and road trip... what nice surprises there were this week, ya?