sisterhood...

This is the place where we met, yes.. the once-was, now-gone, Dunman High... An unexpected reunion 4 years after we graduated. So much have changed, but we know somethings will always remain. Standing in front of the half torn-down school, we could almost hear the school bells ringing and MR Kiw's voice over the PA system.. the innocent screams and laughter of the school children resound vaguely...

im sure everyone will admit that secondary school days are the time where we seek our true selves, and if we decide that noone will accept us as we are, we conform to peer pressure.

That's how we found each other, unable to conform to the rest. Each of us special in our own way that only the other 3 can accept. Thus was created, the sisterhood. It's more than a friendship, it's support, it's love, it's acceptance. It made Dunman High more than a school, it became a home.

Skipping classes together, crying together and laughing together in the toilets... So much have happened, so much that became a huge part of my life. So much that I don't know what I would be without...

Inevitably, we moved on, each on our own path in life... I hate to think of what will happen to the sisterhood when Qiqi goes to study in america. it's like tearing out a part of my past... I remember our graduating year... in Ms Huda's English Class, we had to do an exercise of an eulogy.. write about our loved one missing... and here's what I read out loud in front of the entire class before I broke down in tears...

"if you love someone, let them go. if they come back, they're yours. if they don't, they never was...
When I was 6, you taught me how to ride a bike. You held onto the back of the bike as I tried to pedal. You promised you wouldn't let me go, and I trusted you. I pedalled faster and faster, certain that you were behind me all the way. but when i realized you had let go, I fell. I screamed at you and called you a liar. You let me down, I said... But instead of getting mad, you smiled and said you let me go coz you love me and wanted me to learn. I never understood, and I probably never will, but I know now I should let you go too coz I love you... I promise I'll try."

I love you Qi, and I want the best for you, so I wish you all the best in your studies abroad. Just remember no matter where you may go... u'll always have us, the love, and the sisterhood.

I love you girls so much... Thanks for all the sweet memories. I'm sure our sisterhood will last, but no matter what happens in future... thanks for everything, thanks for being you, and most importantly, thanks for letting me be me.

For now, let's revel in our dreams...

P to the Pravin, R to the Rajwin..

Durians and alchohol never seemed more fitting,
perhaps it's the catalyst that's you and me.
A long-awaited yearned for meeting,
perhaps it's more of a desire to be free.

the scents are great alone,
but are much more together.
a grand meeting of mind and soul,
but i once had to look much further.

smiles are abundant,
yet noone is really what they appear.
yet i feel at ease with you,
to be myself with no fear.

a friend in need is a friend in deed,
a friend who loves is a friend i need.
i've had everything i want,
but a little more makes it complete.

there's a time and place for everything,
just like the changes of night and day.
i know we'll meet again,
but i'll still miss you whenever u're away.

*thanks for the wonderful durian party and sherry wine, guys. cheers to friendship!

The most creative game... Love it!

Scribble Help the Ink Blots get to the finish flags.

Play this free game now!!

my favorite game - lifesized.

Got this off my favorite website...
damn cool right?!!

Tetris Building

a night out with you.

neon lights, soft lights, a cigarette lights.
jazz music, soft voices, my heart sings.
martini glasses, beer glasses, mugs on the table.
happily, we smile and chat away.

sinking into the couch beside you,
i feel your knee brushed against mine;
i brushed you out of my mind.
and the gentle blush, i knew could blame the wine.

i look at you, you look around, you look beautiful.
in the unfarmiliarity, a sense of old i feel.
could be the music, could be the sounds,
but without denile, i knew it could be you.

the lights danced off your face,
i danced in your arms,
my heart danced in its place.
swiftly you twirled me to the jazzy tunes.

the night is late, the night is ending,
yet the night is still young.
as we walked out of the club towards home,
you said, "now that it's just the 2 of us, the night has just begun."

A wedding celebration... of J&J

Fairytales don't often come true,

but for you sometimes they do.

For if anyone deserves a happily ever after,

it's someone as amazing as you.

Glad to be a part of your wedding. i've loved you my whole life.

*congrats,junejiejie.

it saddens...

We've always heard of the dangers of smoking and the repercussions: cancer. Words can only mean so much, even pictures on cigarette boxes can be ignored. But what happens when the warnings manifest themselves in the people around you?

Perhaps you remember Joan Chan who joined the LORD last year due to tongue cancer. Well, another friend (as I just found out today from his friendster bulletin) has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The most amazing part? They're both non-smokers. Anyway, since my friend (anonymity granted), has only less than a year to live, here's a public announcement service (basically, an extract from the friendster bulletin). Let's not underestimate the reach and efficiency of new media (i.e., the WWW).. please paste this on your blog, forums, or forward. Thanks!

"TIS IS THE TRAGIC STORY THE DUDEZ! HE USED TO BE A CHEERFUL YOUNG LAD INHIS 20s UNTIL HE IS DIAGNOSED WIFHEART PROBLEMS CANCER AND LIGAMENT TEARS IN BOTH HIS WEAK KNEES!

WITH LOOKS OF MR BILL GATES SON,PEOPLE CALL HIM THE AH SIAH KIA OF THEWORLD,SON OF THE BILLIONAIRES!YET NOBODY BELIEVES HE CAME FRM ATOTALY BROKEN DEVASTATED FAMILY.

HISDAD IS A BANKRUPT AND MOM LOSTMILLIONS IN SHARES ANDPROPERTY.EVERYBODY STIL SAYS HE IS BILL GATES AND SEARS SON FROM HISLOOKS, WELL , APPEARANCE CAN BE DECEPTIVE.

NOW! HE IS IN NEED OF SERIOUSMEDICATION AND URGENT ORPERATIONS TOSURVIVE!ALTHOUGH HE MAY NOT LIVE LONG FOR MORETHEN A YEAR , HE STRIVES TO FULFILDREAMS AND GOALS OF OTHERS ,HELPINGPEOPLE TO ATTAIN WAD HE CAN NOTACHIEVE ANYMORE.

HERE I URGE THOSE WITH KINDNESS ANDHUMANITY TO HELP HIM BY DONATING ASMALLAMOUNT OF MINIMUM $1 TO HELP HIM WITHTHE MEDICAL BILLS AND FUTURE OPERATIONS

PLEASE DONATE TO PAYPAL EMAILsergelucid@hotmail.comMAY THE HEAVENS BLESS U FOR UR SUPPORTAND FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE ASPOSSIBLE! THANK YOU!"

The Bitch in me.

Always read the silly quizzes that people do on bulletins and never really bothered. but it's 2.30am and i'm bored. besides, this seems kinda different from the rest, finally a chance for me to bitch, about noone in particular. Just some worthless mean wit of mine. perhaps it's worthy of perusal.

1.if someone said you look nice you'd say...- Oh really? Thanks :D

2. if someone said you sound weird you'd say...- this is your echo...

3. if someone said you're surprisingly intelligent you'd say...- What you mean surprising?? Please lorrr....

4. if someone said he/she doesn't like you you'd say...- if i wanted your opinion, i'd ask you to fill in a form, ok?

5. if someone said your last relationship's break-up was your faultyou'd say...- Yea.. I make it a point not to discuss my love-life with someone who doesn't have one. sorry :)

6.if someone said you're heartless you'd say...- eMail me your reasons, so i can read them later with my girlfriends and laugh over it, ok?

7. if someone said you have bad friends you'd say...- ~~At least i have FRIENDS, luhsurrr...

8. if someone said you need an attitude make-over you'd say...- whoops, time's up! 1 second per geek only! life's too short to waste standing here talk to u, u know?

9. if someone said you don't get hurt,at all, you'd say...- u just dont matter to me enough to hurt me, i guess. *shrugs*

10. if someone said you're selfish you'd say...- *acts hurt* hey.. i'm being kind here talking to u.. it's my good deed for "be kind to dumb animals" day :)

11. what's the funniest thing that someone said today?- JLC (popping almost all my sweets into his mouth despite me watching horrifically and begging him to stop): No, must eat more then nice!!!

12. what would you say to someone who betrayed you behind your back?- i'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife? :)

13. what is the best love line you heard so far - you look slimmer, today! *Awww...

the lovely viola

sadly, we part and hugged goodbye.

yet, i know we wont be apart for long.
'till we meet again, my love,

i'll miss my sweet viola's song.

The smell of you.

i spray your cologne once again in the air;
and dance as the droplets fall on my face like mist.
the smell lingers on my face,
reminding me of our bitter-sweet goodbye kiss.

too soon the blanket of sparkling drops disappear,
too soon the smell is gone.
looking at the bottle in my hands,
i wonder if the short-lived fun, was so worth it.
i closed my eyes and pictured you;
afraid to waste more of the precious cologne.
the smell once again filled my mind;
oh, the power of my imagination.

a deep sigh, i wish you'd stay for longer;
yet i know i had to let you go.
i opened my eyes once more;
and the sight shocked me so.
saying you left something behind,
there you stood at the door.
i hold out your cologne, suddenly shy.
but you grabbed me into your arms instead,
and gently whispered, it's me you came back for.

Sweet memories.

Like a sweet scent I smelt before,
indulging in the moment I don't ask for more.
Just stay in my mind and my soul;
Be there with me when i'm sixty-four.

morning light.

i guess it's safe to assume i no longer sleep on wednesday nights anymore.
6.30 am and i'm look at www.stevenlim.net... i realize that perhaps the irritating facade is most apt to hide the lonely soul within.
This is his latest blog entry.

"22th June 2007 0309hrs: When you are not even your best friend's good friend =( Sad.....

I used to treat a very important guy in my life as my best friend. I felt he was the only person in the world that never look down on me, never let me down where I share my slightest personal stuff, sadness, every happiness with him. We used to keep daily contact thru msn, smses. And when he failed his test or any new plans to work together or tour, he will sure to find me. We used to watch movies together every time..... Spider man 3, pirates, fantastic 4, 200 pounds beauty, Wild hogs, all the block buster movies recently, we will sure to watch it together. In my mind, I was so thankful to God that this is the only person that sincerely treat me good n nice with prejudice in this life. He was my best friend, n i loved him. But only until yesterday, he confessed that I m not his best friend. It was someone else. That is ok, we are good friends at least. He said," You are not even considered as my good friend. I only treat you as a friend..." That was so hurting in MSN...I sweared i almost wanna knock myself against the wall... Someone that I treasured so much in this life only make me one of his many friends. He said that It is difficult for me to be anyone's good friend, because I m a joker n weirdo n all the girls teased him for going out with me. Wat the?! Now then i realized one thing, finally come to light..I m all alone once again..I could have many friends but I hate keeping friends... I choose to have him as my best friend, my only male real friend. We have known each other for 13 years since army. Others may be hi bye...but to me, he is definitely more than a friend. He is my brother. My brother has hurt me so deep that i cant climb back again. Back in one camp training...I remembered overheard one thing. One campmate asked him whether i m his good friend. He said no, he just liked my motorcycle, so that he can get free rides to movies n back home. I ignored that remark because I tot that he was kidding. Now I think back, maybe it is not. Maybe he really just enjoy the free rides. Now, i have nothing left in the world, only tears rolling down my eyes. Shucks! My parents are getting old, especially my father. He aged so much recently n he really looks like he needs to retire already. Sometimes, I feel so bad talking back at him, because sometimes I bad mood too. Here, Dad, I want to say so sorry to you. I know you still want to earn more money but i really appreciate u for giving me the Polytechnic diploma, n the pocket money you used to give to me. Those are your hard earned money. I really let you down for being a slacker in life. He n my mum r the ones that bring me to this world. I should thank them for the effort. I m not happy now. I m getting old too, damn it..30 already. 31soon...Just half a year ago, I was dating four girls at the same time. Guess few guys are able to handle that feat. All 4 girls liked me, but now I left with nothing because maybe i chose too. I was too flirt le....I should really should just stick to one regular one but i simply could not. It runs in my blood! I thought My ex understand that I m a natural flirt, but we still broke up after many years. Shit lah, cannot get married liao....She forced me to promise her if we patch, in the future I was not allowed to get another girlfriend or "mistress". Really difficult for me!!!! so i cannot promise her n we never patch.. sigh....The truth is that I get lonely very easily n i hate being alone n i want people to dote on me often n i need plenty of attention. Bad rite??? But i guess the real reason for the break up is becos maybe we lack of intimacy for far too long already (many many months dun have XXX). I dun feel like making love to her, i start to hate sex, i prefer self gratification. I can swear for the last few intimacy, she is the one that wanted it first. I dun want to.....The thought of at the end the hassle of wiping already turn me off, off, off, & the tot of needing to perform well. Stressed lah! .Oh man, i m getting old.....Yes, long, long time she never stayed overnight at my house already. She is right. we are drifting apart.. I m going Shanghai very soon. I have paid for the air ticket. Very cheap ( only SGD$559 for return ticket) I m going to live together with the now famous Shanghai Girl for one week. She is going to cook for me. I can dun have sex with any girl, but she gonna hug me tight before I sleep for the seven days.Hee hee....Really looking forward to the trip..I really loved to be hugged, dun want sex...Bless you all....Guess you all are shocked that i change my style of blogging this week. I dun care lah.....I have nothing left anyway. Nobody loves me anyway...Perhaps only "Stewen" really cares about me...Find out who is Stewen by typing Steven Lim, Tammy in youtube."

the sweet one.

like an insomniac waiting for the first sunlight,

i await what i've seen so much before.

somehow, i've never realized but it's dark without the sun.

familiarness has never been worth much more.

i await.

i feel the warmth of the first ray.

the sun won't be that far away, now.

8 more days and she'll be home.

*missin my older sis.

ponders.

I wonder why, but like many before, once again I blog.
i know i've been here before.
the zest is gone and yet here I slog.
hoping it amounts to more.

wonder how long before i stop blogging again.