Monday Blues. for real this time.

Neurosis, also known as psychoneurosis or neurotic disorder, is a term that refers to any mental imbalance that causes distress, but, unlike a psychosis or some personality disorders, does not prevent or affect rational thought. It is particularly associated with the field of psychoanalysis.

I just feel depressed. No reason that I know of, or perhaps the reasons are so underlying and ingrained that I'm just oblivious to it. Maybe nothing is wrong... maybe everything is wrong. Sigh.

Isn't it scary that life is unpredictable and we do not have everything planned? When SIM called me and told me to prepare for graduation and convocation, I freaked. What do I do after graduation? Where do I go? I've always figured out what I wanted to do as a career, but a career isn't the end of it. Yes, it is a big step... but what about the collateral decisions that come with it?

It seems like ALL the decisions I have made in my life, the past 20 years, up till this point, seems really trivial and insignificant as the ones I'm going to make in the next 10 - what job do I do, am I marrying the right man, should I buy a house, what about children?

It's like all my life I've been grazing in a nice field that's been fenced, but that's fine because I don't really care for what's beyond my boundaries... But now, it's like the field is barren and I have to explore past my comfort zone... in search for greener pastures. But what if I'm already contented?? What if I don't quite care for greener pastures?? I feel I'll die in this barren field.

It's like every mistake I've ever made in my life up to this point isn't even going to make a dent compared to the crashes I'm gonna take from here on. It's scary. I don't wanna grow up.

Am I going through a quarter-life crisis??? Somehow, I feel that I'm not even scraping the surface of my depression. I feel that there's more... or perhaps there's nothing. I'm whining abt random stuffs, but I keep missing the bull's eye. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'm DEPRESSED.

Damn, I'm really messed up, aren't I? HAhaha. Bet you regret stumbling upon my blog.

AUgh!! It's not like me to get so emotional and depressive!!! I hope I snap out of this real soon!!!

"Neurotic", or affected by neurosis, has come to describe a person with any degree of depression or anxiety, depressed feelings, lack of emotions, low self-confidence, and/or emotional instability.

Hmmm, maybe i'm just neurotic................